Who are you?

Posted by Max | Posted on 4/21/2018 01:21:00 PM

5

I'm Captain Chu Chu


LOL Buddah is Tiny Cakes

Stuffs...

Posted by Max | Posted on 4/05/2018 06:14:00 PM

6

Okay. So, I've been getting an appetizer before breakfast and before dinner every night. I get a tiny bite of cheese, which I enjoy, and my cheese has seeds, which I do not. But the seeds taste like cheese, so I swallow them anyway, because I figure it works like birds and fruit seeds: I eat the, I poop them out, and then a cheese tree will grow.

Well. So far, no little cheese tree saplings are growing in my litter box. And once in a while I would like a different appetizer.

So tonight at dinner, when the Woman put my cheese treat down, I sat back, looked at it, looked at her, and asked for something different.

Woman: if you don't eat that, I don't open a can.
Me: Can I have something else, though?
Woman: Nope.
Me: Can I at least have the seedless cheese tonight?
Woman: Nope. If you don't eat that, I'm not opening the can of tuna fancy feast.
Buddah: THAT'S NOT FAIR! I DON'T GET CHEESE TREATS AND I'M HUNGRY!
Woman: You won't eat the cheese, BooBoo.
Me: He can have mine.
Woman: EAT THE CHEESE, MAX.

Sheesh. Would it have killed her to provide a different appetizer just once???

And yeah, don't feel bad for Buddah. She tried giving him cheesy appetizers for a while but he just rolled it around on the counter. But he wouldn't roll it far enough to fall to the floor. I would have eaten it, too, if he had.

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Check this out, doods.

The Woman turned the newest book cover into a t-shirt, and I think she's more excited about the shirt than the book.

If you want one, you can get it HERE. Totally recommend the Ultra double-sided...the Woman has like 50 shirts from this place and they last freaking forever. Even the first shirts she bought there still look new.

If you want to see our other shirts, you can see them HERE. We'll be adding other shirts soon, maybe even one or two of yours truly.

I kinda wish I could wear a shirt, because I dig this one.

Oh, there are other things, too, like pillows and tank tops and even shower curtains, but the Woman is a total t-shirt whore so that's what she thinks about.

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One other thing... looks like the paperback of The Blessings of Saint Wick is available, and all three versions are connected on Amazon. I'll update the sidebar soon, but until then, just click HERE to get it.

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Other other thing...the After Dark series was not some people's cuppa tea, but the next book will be the first in the second Chronicles series (did that make sense? I think it makes sense) and you can jump right back into it. And to be honest, guys, I think this next one is the best one. It's shorter, but every beta reader so far has loved it, and every single one of 'em have cried.

It's done, the editor needs one more pass and the main beta readers need one more pass, but it won't be long. The Whens of Wick is coming soon.



And it's a bouncing baby book!

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/28/2018 05:01:00 PM

2

All righty. The newest book in the Wick After Dark series, The Blessings of Saint Wick, is now out. The Kindle and hardback versions are up, and the paperback should pop up by the end of the week. Sooner or later both print versions will surface on other online bookseller sites, but I don't know when.


Wick's a little bit mischievous in this one...for a good reason. And you don't want to miss drunk Aubrey. Or what Aisha threatens to tie into knots. And...there was a fly.

We're kinda sighing in relief that this one is done and ready for readers, because the next book...YES THE NEXT BOOK... is like 98% done (already had its first pass with the editor and beta readers) and just needs some polishing. It's the book for the people who weren't comfortable with the After Dark series, and you should be able to jump right into it without having read any After Dark.

It was originally going to be a Wick Chronicles book, but it's shorter and we're bouncing back and forth with the editor about whether it should start its own series of shorter stories.

But the new book, the one you can get your sweaty little paws on, is up, and it's a long one, about as long as The Space Between Whens.

I might be just a bit verbose. And we could have cut some stuff, but when it got right down to it...I didn't wanna.

I'm an old man now. I get to write what I want.

I'll let ya guys know when I have copies to pawtograph. That might be a couple weeks.

The New Teenager Got His Checkup

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/22/2018 01:04:00 PM

6

Yep, today was Stabby Place Day for Buddah. It was just a checkup, to get his innards listened to and for the stabby lady to tell him what a beautiful boy and how good he is. Oddly, it's not a lie. The Woman says Buddah is very good at the vet, and he'll even purr for them.

She heard a little bit of bronchitis in his lungs, but he has seasonal allergies and it's that time of year. He's not symptomatic or anything, so there's no point int doing anything about it. Pretty soon, he's gonna start crying (like literal tears) for a week or two, and that'll be it until fall. He also has a little bit of arthritis in his knees and some back end muscle loss, pretty normal for a 13 year old kitty.

He didn't even bit or growl when she took his temp...which tells me he kinda liked it. No judgment there. Whatever floats his boat.

It's kinda hard to see, but Buddah IS in the PTU. While he waited for the stabby lady he got to meet Mr. Boo, the shop cat. I've never met him, but I understand he's super friendly and has kind of a calming effect. Buddah didn't growl or hiss at him, and they sniffed at each other through the screen.

Mr. Boo also greeted the people and made them give him chin and head skritches, and he sat on the Woman's lap a couple of times.

Now, I'm not sure how I'd react--I might have growled at him, because the stabby place is just upsetting and a guy can't always control how he feels--but I like him anyway. He sounds like a super happy guy and he's very friendly, and that makes everyone happy.

Here's the thing...he was supposed to be put down. Someone brought him in six years ago and wanted him euthanized for behavioral issues, but the stabby lady was all nuh-uh, not gonna do that, you just leave him here and GTFO, and she let him stay. And it's like, dood, what the heck did they think was wrong with you, because you're super chill and you love everyone.

I mean, the stabby place isn't gonna let him go anywhere because he's happy where he is, but the Woman is like, if not for MAX, I might want to give that pretty white boy a home (even though for realz she's not open to the idea of more cats now. It's the IDEA. He'd be awesome.)

But WHO DOES THAT? Who puts down a perfectly good cat just because of a few issues? And then WHERE THE FRAK ARE THE ISSUES?

Yeah, this makes me want to yell a lot.

But I'm done.

I don't like going to the vet, but I like this vet, if that makes sense. She thinks we're beautiful, she understands that we're done getting shots, she talks nicely to us, and she won't just toss a cat aside because he's inconvenient.

I get to go see her again in about 3 weeks for a recheck on my thyroid. I'll complain about it because I don't WANT to go, but doods, if I have to, at least I got a good one.

Oh. The main point. Buddah is healthy, and apparently an affection whore.

The Big One-Three

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/15/2018 09:40:00 AM

17

Today he is 13.

That's a hell of a lot of years I've had to put up with him.

He's still a PITA, but over the last few months he's been a little less so, probably because the People put Feliway diffusers all over the place. I don't think he's matured, but I'll take what I can get.

It's still early in the day so I haven't given him his present yet (don't tell him, but I got him a new nip banana!) but after dinner he'll get a special meaty treat and then I'll give it to him. He loves nip bananas almost as much as I do, so he'll be set for the rest of the evening.

I might even let him have the bed in front of the fireplace tonight. It all depends on whether the people turn it on or not.

But still. Thirteen.

Happy Birthday, Buddah Pest.

Really.

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/06/2018 08:55:00 PM

5

WHY DOES SHE KEEP CALLING ME "PUPPY???"


AND WHY IS BUDDAH SO CLOSE TO ME?

(ok, we were messing up the bed because the Woman wanted to change the sheets and we were all "nuh-uh" but still. He stopped way too close to me.) 

But, yeah. Why the heck is she still calling me "Puppy?"

Still waiting on the pills...

Posted by Max | Posted on 3/04/2018 01:47:00 PM

9

Yeah, I dunno. There was all that "Ooh we have to give Max pills now and he's going to hate it and his life will be miserable," and I was bracing myself for it, but so far, no pills.

There's been bites of cheese, like tiny bites that just make me want more, but no pills.

Maybe they changed their minds? Go figure.

I'm going to stare until you get me more cheese...

The Incredible Shrinking Me

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/27/2018 03:06:00 PM

20

A couple of years ago, I sat on the scale in the bathroom while the Woman was brushing her teeth. Big mistake. She looked down and saw how much I weighed, turned her buzzing toothbrush off, and said that 18.5 pounds was too much.

Now, she didn't throw the "D" word at me, but said that "we" needed to change how I ate. And you know what? There was no "we" in it at all. SHE changed the way I ate. There were far fewer crunchy treats, though I got dead delicious things more often. She still put dry food out for between-meal nibbling, but it was a low glycemic food, which I only sort-of liked, so of course I didn't eat much of it.

The goal, she said, was for me to lose weight slowly. And about 5-6 months later, when I got weighed at the stabby place during my checkup, I was just under 18 pounds. That seemed to make her very happy, and the stabby guy wasn't unhappy, so she decided to just keep doing hat she was doing.

Now, I have to admit, I never felt really hungry. She changed the brand of food I got most of the time but didn't totally stop with the one I did, because that would be mean and I was doing really well on it. My weight slowly started coming off, and last June I was at 16.5 pounds. Still overweight, but she thought that for a big boy, it was decent, and said we'd try to hold me at that weight.

I started asking for more food; I wasn't eating the dry food at all, and I dipped a little under 16.5, so she started giving me a tablespoon more here and there, and my weight loss was still slow so she thought that maybe I was just reaching an optimum and it would stop with an extra meal or two.

It kinda became an obsession. And I'm loathe to admit it, but now I'm trained to sit on the scale nicely 3-4 times a week. If I don't, she won't open the bathroom door.

Then just before the 3 Day Boobie Walk, she realized I was eating 5 full meals a day, sometimes 6, and my weight dropped a little more.

She kept watching. I wasn't drinking more than usual, I wasn't peeing more than usual, and my litter box didn't smell sweet. In January when they went to Disneyland, I was 14.5 pounds. They were gone for 2 days, and I was under 14 when they got home.  The question then was, did he not eat much because of the stress of us being gone (the answer was yes) or is more going on (the answer is yes.)

She got my weight back up to 14.5 without much effort. Still, she wanted to know what was going on, so she had the Man make my annual appointment a few months early...and we all know what happened there.

I stabbed her right in the neck.

There was a lot of talking at the appointment: he's always hungry, doesn't seem thirstier than usual, the litter box isn't soaked and doesn't smell funny, he's reasonably active for an almost 17 year old cat, he likes attention a lot, hates Buddah, and Buddah seems to be picking on him more... it went on for a while, and I was stuck there just wanting to go home. The Woman's fear was that I was either diabetic or borderline, and knowing how easily I stress out, that could become a Very Bad Thing indeed.

The stabby guy (who is actually a very nice lady) stole a bunch of my blood and other bodily fluids we won't discuss, and had a tech call this weekend to tell the People that I am not diabetic, but I am hyperthyroid. She didn't want them worrying all weekend, just wanted to let them know, and said the vet would call this week with all the details.

In the grand scheme of things, this is good news. I'm pretty old, and this is common in older cats. It hasn't seemed to have totally affected my kidneys--that's in the high range of normal but still normal--and she's pretty sure we can get it under control with medication.

Now, anyone who's been hanging around the blog from the early days might remember when we got Buddah and I got super sick, and the had pancreatitis. That required being in antibiotics for 10 days, then 14 days off, then on for 10...and it went on for for like a year and a half. I hated it, fought the pills like crazy, and spent a lot of my time absolutely terrified of my people. It was so bad for me that as soon as I had good bloodwork, they told the vet that we were done. No more pills. It had changed my personality and I was scared all the time, and we'd hit the line that crossed quality of life and quantity of life.

That whole thing caused some pretty deep discussions about what to do if I ever got super sick again. Like, cancer or something. And the consensus was that they were going to do what they could to keep me comfortable and happy, but they weren't forcing any treatments on me.

What they wanted for me was quality of life.

And now this.

And now that whole let's-not-upset-Max thing is flying out the window, because the first treatment the vet wants to try is pills, and they're gonna do it because the pills are tiny and I might be okay with it. If I'm not, there's a version that can be rubbed on my ear.

And yes, the ultimate treatment is to radiate me, but that requires leaving me at a strange place, isolated, for 5 days. And even the stabby lady agrees, at my age and temperament, it would probably kill me.

Worth noting: this stabby place has been super respectful of how stressed I get when I have to go there. They're taking that into account with everything they're doing.

So. That's where I'm at. The pills should come in tomorrow, which means I'll start taking them then. It's a small dose at first, once a day, and will gradually ramp up to see how I tolerate it. I probably won't have to go to the vet myself for a while; once I've been on what they all think is a good dose for 4 weeks, I have to go back for bloodwork, but they'll make sure I'm pretty freaking high and they use Versed, which means I might not even remember it after.

On my 16th birthday last June, the Woman was pretty sure I wouldn't see 17. Now she's thinking I have a much better shot at it. And ya know what? So do I.

We have a mockup!

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/24/2018 01:52:00 PM

6

Doods. We're in the final stretch with the new book and we got a cover mockup and I so so totally digging it.


This isn't, like, the final final cover. Things will get tweaked around a bit and if we can get a blurb from someone, that'll be on it. Fonts might change. But everything is in the editor's and beta readers' hands, and once they're done it won't take long before it goes to print. Things are pretty well set up to have it hit the printer a week after the edits are done.

Would have been done already but we sent the editor the next book, too, and she got distracted by it.

Couple people asked me, too, if there were going to be more After Dark books after this one or only Chronicle books...straight up answer, I don't know. We went with After Dark because 1) we got asked a lot about doing a more adult Emperor story and 2) these were stories best told with a more adult theme. But the things we have planned after this don't necessarily need that.

And to be honest, except for some of the language, The Blessings of Saint Wick could have easily been a Chronicles book. To remain true to a couple characters, it went into After Dark, but as stories evolve, so do characters, and the few f-bombs that might occur after this can be covered with Wick subbing "freaking" or even allowing a few to slip in.

Someone else asked what happens to the whole thing a ways down the road, given that I'm almost 17 now. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of pages of notes and the Woman knows where I want this to go. It will all depend on how clearly she can hear my voice...'cause y'all know I'll be complaining right in her ear all the way from the Bridge.

I have no plans to go there any time soon, but just so you know. We've worked it out.

Oh, and I did this to her while we were at the stabby place on Thursday.

I was trying to jump onto her shoulder, because Wick rides on shoulders and why can't I? But apparently a 14 pound cat climbing a person is different than a 6 pound cat, and gravity does things, and the nit thing you know your back claw gets caught in a neck, and everyone is unhappy.

She didn't get mad or anything. Didn't even flinch. So she gets points for that.

Also, now I know I can stab her without repercussions.

THEY TOOK ME OUTSIDE!

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/22/2018 02:24:00 PM

5

Annual checkup, that's all
AND TO MAKE IT WORSE THEY TOOK ME TO THE STABBY PLACE!

AND THEN MY BLOODS WERE STOLEN AND I'M PRETTY SURE I NEED THEM!!!

AND I WAS MANHANDLED!!!

But, when the people picked me up a couple hours later I was high as a kite, so I got that going for me.

Let's talk about Buddah....

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/12/2018 04:51:00 PM

15

Not, like, behind his back or anything. But he doesn't blog anymore and his Facebook page gathers dust, but I know people out there like him. And then I got to thinking, why the hell not write about him? Not even a blog post; he's weird enough there's surely enough material to write a book about him.

So...what do you want to know about Buddah Pest? If you could ask him anything, what would you ask? And keep in mind, your question might make it into a book, and this book might be read by kids, so use some judgment, ok.

Even I have to admit he's a handsome boy
 He's a freak, but he could be a star.

Just leave any questions or things you like to know about Buddah or hear about Buddah in the comments.

This is something we'll probably start working on in 2-3 weeks, and it might take a while. We have 2 books coming soon, the next Wick After Dark Book, titled The Blessings of Saint Wick, and then a novella in The Wick Chronicles Series, tentatively titled The When of Wick.

Here's the good news about people waiting for the next Chronicles book: it *should* be out less than 3 weeks after The Blessings of Saint Wick. They've both been written, and are in the production phases, but because of spoilers, The When of Wick has to come out after. And don't worry if you skipped the After Dark books--you should be able to hop right back in.

But for now...let's write a book about Buddah! It'll be fun!


Hello there...

Posted by Max | Posted on 2/07/2018 06:09:00 PM

9

...Why yes, I am hogging all these toys.


Why do you ask?

No, I can't...

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/30/2018 05:01:00 PM

3

"Max, dood, why don't you just release the Wick novella before the next Wick After Dark book?"

I get that not everyone wants to read the more adult stories of the Wick After Dark series, but I can't release the novella until after the upcoming WAD book simply because of spoilers. Also, it's not finished, whereas the next WAD book basically is. It goes to the editor this week, then one more pass and it goes to proofing.

It won't be much longer before The When of Wick (working title) is released. And if we tighten up some of the loose ends, you should be able to jump into that and not be too lost. You'll have missed a great love story and getting to know Jay, who used to be Jimmy, and you'll miss out on Will dealing with his childhood bully, but those aren't going to be critical things to reading The When of Wick.

I still recommend reading The Space Between Whens and whatever the heck this next book is titled, because they're fundamental to the characters and were a heck of a lot of fun to write...and it's not like they're porn. There's a bit of sex (and less in the upcoming book) and some language, but really, nothing you don't get in most mainstream fiction.

And yeah, there's nothing graphic in the next one. It's kind of a quiet story, it's made us laugh out loud a lot, and doods...there's a wedding.

You don't want to miss that.

Step Up!

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/28/2018 02:50:00 PM

5

The Woman bought me these steps to make it easier to get onto the sofa. Now, I don't NEED steps, but she bought them anyway because I MIGHT need them someday.

Well, ok. Nothing like jumping the gun there, eh?

The Man tried enticing me to use them by putting treats on each step, and this is as far as I got before going back to the floor and then jumping onto the sofa to get the treat on the stop step.

I suppose it'll be good for stretching, if they keep putting treats on it.

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The People were gone for a couple of days, and once they got home the Woman and I got back to work. We're *almost* ready to send the next book to the editor. It doesn't have a title yet, but Wick, You Little $hit is a possibility. (Ok, not, not really...it's a Wick After Dark book but I think that's pushing it.) I laughed *a lot* while working on this one.

While the editor has this book, we'll work on finishing the short story we were working on. The short that turned into a novella. I'm super excited about that one. The When of Wick. This one won't be a WAD book, but goes into the Wick Chronicles series. So if you didn't want to read the more adult natured WAD (though they're not GRAPHIC, it's the f-bombs that tip the scale, and even then...you should read them, you really should. Unless you're, like, 10 [looking at you, Tad]), you can jump into this one and I don't think you'll get lost. We'll kinda cover the bases.

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The Wick Chronicle has been taken out of the Young Adult genre, at least the BISAC codes have been changed. But they're still ok for kids.

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Something else we've been playing with: t-shirts.  She wanted a t-shirt with the cover to Forked on it, and long story short, we have a storefront at Rage On.

Right now there are only 4 shirts, each a book cover, but we'll slowly expand it. There might even be one or two with yours truly.

It's more than shirts, too. Like, sweatshirts or pillows or shower curtains...

The ultra premium print all over are the best value, the Woman thinks, because they're nice and soft and last freaking forever. She's got, like, 40-50 shirts from Rage On and none of them have faded. Like, at all.

She's not sure how the Ozoo shirt will look. It's different on the front and back, but she ordered one for herself to check it out. If it sucks, she'll redo it. But she got the Jeff and Fluffy shirt and doods, it came out amazing.


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What? Like you really thought I'd use it?

It's my vacation, too!

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/15/2018 06:32:00 PM

5

The Woman and I have been working a lot lately, long days with lots of hours spent typing and consulting and pouring over notes. We got the first draft of the next Wick After Dark book done and set it aside to let it simmer, because it's super long and we know we need to trim it down a bit, but it's hard to cut fun stuff that quickly.

Then we started a Wick short story, which wound up more like a novella, and we finished it just in time for the People to take a quick trip to Disneyland. While they play, the Younger Human is taking care of Buddah and me, and since we've done a lot of writing lately, I get to take a break, too.

So them leaving is my vacation, too. I'm going to spend it napping a lot. And when my naps are over, I'm going to stretch, turn around, and go to sleep.

They're only gonna be gone a couple days, so I can only get a few extra sleeps in, but hey, that's still a vacation.

Toasty

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/04/2018 09:06:00 PM

7

The Woman turned the fireplace on at 7:30.


I'm not moving until it's snack o'clock.

And yes, the Christmas stuff is still up. Well, the inside stuff. The outside decorations came down a few days ago.

No hurry. The tree makes for a nice cover for my mancat cave thingy, so I'd like to keep it up for a while longer. Like, until 2019.

Ooh. Snack o'clock. Yay.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, DOODS!

Posted by Max | Posted on 1/01/2018 12:00:00 AM

10


There were toys...

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/20/2017 09:35:00 AM

9

...but no picture of a stuffed car.

Sorry for the disappointment, I know a few people who enjoy seeing the back of the Woman's car stuffed with toys every year, but we did things differently this year. There were just as many toys--you kinda have to take my word for it, but no worries if you don't--but the people never set their hands on them, much less had them in the back of the car.

This year we opted to pick things off the wish list for a local Foster Kids program. It meant the people weren't picking random toys that might not be what a kid wanted, but they were buying things kids had specifically asked for. We shopped the list on Amazon, and the toys were sent directly to the program's office.

This was the first time the Woman even knew about it. There was a poster at Starbucks and it had the wishlist URL on it, and it seemed like a pretty good idea. The people had already been talking about the whole quantity versus quality thing--what's the point of filling the car if the toys aren't, like, really great toys--and this thing popped up.

But the toys did get bought this year.

Along with that, this year when y'all bought my books, you donated to breast cancer research (but not the Woman'a walk...there was a thing that raised money for the Mayo Clinic's research through the Donna Foundation, and a couple others), you donated for Multiple Sclerosis research, kids' cancer research, Leukemia and Lymphoma research, and you may or may not have purchased 9 mini-bottles of Fireball.

We're not really clear on whose funds went for that. But the Woman swears it was medicinal, it got her through the boobie walk.

Yeah. Right.

Sammy Needs Our Help

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/09/2017 06:50:00 PM

2

Doods, you all know Sammy, he's been my blogging bud for forever, like almost as long as I can remember. He needs surgery to remove a cancerous tumor on his tummy, and all I want for Christmas is for him to get it so that he lives a long time.

There's a GoFundMe page where you can donate a few bucks, and anything helps. Seriously...this year don't send me anything (cause some of you do and I like that BUT...I need this more) and do this instead. And not just for Sammy--think of his brother Miles. What would the world be without Sammy and Miles together???

The goal on the GFM page is $1000 but you doods know that medical stuff always winds up costing more. The closer to $2000, the better.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Posted by Max | Posted on 12/01/2017 06:14:00 PM

10

...but not Whovimas, not yet. The People have been putting up outside decorations and the Woman decorated the front room, but my Who tree and TARDIS lights has not been put up yet. I've been promised that will happen on Monday most likely, but dang. I usually get it before everything else.


No one expects those decorations to go unmolested. They're more like, how soon with the little black furball send them flying? I'm thinking by tomorrow night.


This dood isn't exactly what I had in mind for Jeff, but hey, it's Christmas and he'd probably want to wear Christmas clothes. Or maybe I'll write another book with Jeff in it and introduce Kringle, his festive little brother.


Kringle gets lit every night.

Fits right in with the Woman.

Oh, come on, you saw those pictures from the boobie walk...